


Safe Words

by silveradept



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Akuma After-Effects, Asexual Kagami Tsurugi, Bottom Nino, Everybody's At Least A Little Kinky Here, Experimenting With Bottoming Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Impact Top Kagami, Learning to Top Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Minor Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Kagami Tsurugi, Minor Alya Césaire/Nino Lahiffe, Minor Juleka Couffaine/Rose Lavillant, Multi, Panic Attacks, Rope Bottom Juleka, Rope Top Rose, Top Alya, role reversals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 19:40:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29283921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silveradept/pseuds/silveradept
Summary: After a particularly nasty akuma's effects, Ladybug finds herself relying more than she wants to on Chat Noir's ability to calm her out of panic attacks. If Marinette can keep those feelings in check, with the help of her friends and Adrien, then she won't have to risk the Chat Blanc future just so she can pull herself together. Adrien seeks help on how to best manage the new, more leading role he's taking on in their dynamic, since Chat Noir feels extremely out of his depth.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 5
Kudos: 27





	Safe Words

**Author's Note:**

> All characters depicted in this story are at an age where they could legally consensually participate in the activities depicted therein, in case you were wondering.
> 
> Written for the 2021 Poetry Exchange, on the following fragment from _Miscegenation_ by Reginald Shepherd.
>
>> We'll never be  
> so clean again. As if the face  
> leaning over my cracked sink  
> were yours, the fogged up mirror  
> a mere alibi.

They'd barely cleared the scene. Miraculous Cure restored everything to a pristine state, and this attack's victim has been safely reunited with their people. She didn't have to hold it together any more. Her earrings and his ring have sung their warnings, but she can't stop seeing that death's-head grin. The spear had traversed completely through Alya, then Mylène, Ivan, and Nino in quick succession. And then that damn fool cat let himself get run through so he could break the object, with that smile that she hates to see, like he knows he's going to die and thinks he's getting the better end of the deal if it helps her.

"Breathe," he'd said, arms wrapped around her, keeping her from toppling then both over as the fight left her entirely. "Follow me," he added, his chest moving evenly and deeply in calm breaths. She heard his heart beating, as if nothing had happened, because Miraculous Cure makes sure nothing _did_ happen and one of these days it's not going to work.

"Breathe," he'd said again. His chest moved slowly that time, a hint of force in his voice. "I'm here," he whispered, much more gently. He had to know that it was going to kill him and he did it anyway, and what kind of fool trusts that the Cure will work to bring him back just like that, that it will bring everyone back just like that?

" _Breathe_ ," he'd commanded, and she did, body recognizing the utility even if her mind still whirled away. "Focus," he pleaded, and everything fell away until the entirety of the universe consisted of him, his arms protecting her, the slow pulse of his heart, his chest expanding and contracting. She matched his rhythm, slowing her breath, listening to his heart and synchronizing herself to him. She wanted to stay _there_ , the place where she doesn't have to do anything but breathe with him and let him protect her from the outside. She wanted to feel this more in her life, to be able to let go of everything and trust.

"Good," he'd murmured as they aligned with each other, and she feels his warmth and a little bit of pride coming from him that she's been able to fight off the panic again. Ladybug was not going to fall to pieces that night, and that made him relax more.

He's had to resort to that register much more often. They'd discovered it by accident after another of Hawkmoth's nightmares had twined them together so well they could feel each other's fears and anxieties. She'd learned that under his playful exterior, Chat Noir had accepted that he would never be good enough for anyone important in his life, including her, and the best he could hope for was to be remembered well. He'd learned that underneath her unshakeable courage and conviction, Ladybug was someone so anxious about failure and the consequences of failure that his own body started shaking from the stress. How many years had they been fighting to keep Paris safe, and they still didn't know who Hawkmoth was, much less have a plan to defeat him if they had the chance? Proper superheroes, like Majestia, found out the identities of their villains or defeated them more soundly and permanently than they had done with Hawkmoth. What they had done only felt like survival, never like victory.

They'd still managed to defeat the akuma, no thanks to her neuroses, but rather than the usual post-akuma fistbump and disappearance because of loud chirpy earrings, he'd offered her a hand, and then, after asking her if it was okay, a hug. He'd held her with strength and gentleness together, supporting her with a promise in his arms that he could keep her there if she let go, drawing her close enough to him to tell her, without words, that he would fight the world outside if it tried to intrude on her. Maybe it was a residual effect of the akuma, but she could feel him ready to arch his back and hiss and swipe at whatever came next. She shouldn't have felt safe with him, with anyone, but he was there and radiating security.

"You're tense," he'd said, turning a statement of fact into one of great concern. "I can work your shoulders, if you like." She'd nodded, too far gone to tell him that it would be too familiar, and then the rest of the world had been muted except for his hands and the work they did, trying to loosen her muscles and nerves.

"Breathe," he'd told her after some amount of time, letting her head rest gently on his chest, hearing his heart and feeling his breathing. She'd matched him unconsciously, her focus still on his hands finding all the tension spots and working them out. It had to have taken longer than whatever time they had left after using their powers, because there was no way that Chat Noir could have worked out everything with her in the small amount of time they had together. And especially not for the additional time that they'd held each other afterward, breathing together as the rest of her senses rebooted and eventually surfaced to the level of conscious awareness. She'd been better after that for a while, but the grind of attacks had worn her down again and again until she'd had to seek refuge in him and whatever magic his hands and voice held.

She had to get her stresses under control. She didn't want him to make unwarranted assumptions about intimacy between them, but even more, she did not _want_ that kind of intimacy with him. His willingness to be a sacrifice already disturbed her far too much. And she had already seen what happened when he fell in love with her and Hawkmoth exploited that.

She needed some help.

* * *

"I expected you to ask Alya, honestly," Juleka said to Marinette.

"Weeeellllll," Marinette said, drawing out the syllable enough for Juleka to know that she _had_ asked Alya first.

"Oh, it's because Alya is forever and always exuding Big Top Energy, and you needed a different perspective," Juleka said, as the obvious solution presented itself to her.

Marinette startled. Juleka grimaced, but tried to hide it. Usually it was Rose who was the one who needed to be reminded to take a lighter touch when talking to people who were just getting started.

"Y-yeah," Marinette said, cheeks pinking slightly. "It looks like she and Nino have a really good relationship, but i-it seems a little weird to ask Nino about it." 

Juleka nodded sympathetically. Even though they had all been friends through collège and lycée, Juleka had felt a certain amount of shock and worry when Alya and Nino had shown up at the themed "Women in Charge" night at their favorite club. Rose, of course, had been quick to invite them over, and she and Alya had carried an entire night's worth of conversation between them while Juleka and Nino had enjoyed the music while keeping one ear on the conversation, in case they were needed. Since then, Rose and Alya had talked quite a bit about where they saw everyone else in their lives. Alya had even been willing to speculate about Ladybug and Chat Noir, based on her extensive amount of Ladyblog footage collected.

Juleka was thankful this wasn't the first time someone else was aware of what she and Rose were trying to discreetly do. It hadn't been all that long after they'd started tying a few beginning knots that the rough and really kind of itchy stuff they'd been using was replaced by a very soft to the touch, high-quality rope that behaved a lot more usefully and helpfully in trying to get practice for them. Juleka had assumed it was her mother, because that was a much easier thing to be okay with - Anarka had given them both a sharp eye when Rose had taken an interest in just how many knots were on display holding everything in place on the houseboat, but had been willing to teach Rose what she had already taught Luka and Juleka.

It wasn't _im_ possible that Luka was responsible for the change in rope. He had an uncanny way of looking at someone and being able to understand them on a deeper level than they believed. He was really chill about it, though, which helped make it a lot less creepy than it could have been. Plus, he was her brother. Juleka knew that Luka would be okay with whatever she chose to confide in him or to tell to Anarka in his hearing, but telling her brother (or her mother) that she was in a kinky relationship with her girlfriend just wasn't something that Juleka felt comfortable doing. And she hadn't asked Rose whether it was okay to share, anyway.

Which, actually, answered Marinette's question rather handily. "It can be hard to tell who's allowed to talk about what goes on and who isn't, even when you're in the right environment," Juleka said.

Marinette blinked. "I don't understand."

Juleka stifled a sigh, because Marinette would think she was sighing at her ignorance, but really, Juleka wished Rose was here. She was so much better at explaining these things, and it was easier for her to do it.

"Well, for some people, when they've been together for a while, they start negotiating for bigger things, like what someone can do, or say, even outside of a specific scene."

"That's a lot deeper than I thought. Do you think Alya and Nino have something like that?"

"I couldn't say," Juleka said, shrugging. "You don't really know what someone's relationship is like unless they tell you."

"If you don't mind me asking," Marinette said, "would you tell me about you and Rose?"

"I think that would be better discussed with Rose present," Juleka said, smiling slightly. "I can't really describe it with words, and she can. Maybe because she's not flying quite so high."

Marinette tilted her head questioningly.

"We should wait for Rose," Juleka said. "Can it wait until after the next Kitty Section rehearsal?"

* * *

He doesn't really understand what he's doing. He's glad that it's helping, and he knows that she clearly needs it, but what he really wants is to bottle it up somehow and give it to someone better-equipped than he is. When she's like this, she needs someone who can take charge and help her through the panic. Or who can tell her that she needs to stop taking on so much. Instead, she's shaking in his arms, and the only thing he can do is breathe and hold her. And remind her, occasionally, that she also needs to breathe and to relax all of that tension she's carrying.

She's supposed to be the one in charge. All he's needed for is to point destruction in the right direction and to take the hits that she can't afford to. It's been freeing to not have to think about how every word might land, how any gesture might give him away, or worse, might slam a door that he's spent a significant amount of time try to keep propped open. He's not suited to taking charge with her. He'd rather leave that to Rena, or Viperion, or even Marinette. They're strong and understanding and used to making decisions and keeping everyone else on task. He's scared that she's this vulnerable to him, because she wouldn't show him this side of her unless she was desperate. She doesn't want to encourage him into thinking there's something more than just friendship and smashing evil together there. But he can't not care for her, and what that means right now is protecting her. So he holds her, and he works out the knots, and he absorbs the energy, holds it for her, slowly transmutes it to something that she can use, and he breathes it back to her, once breath at a time, until she returns to him from wherever the place is that she goes. And then she's ready to fight again and lead them all.

He asks Plagg why they don't de-transform during these times, and Plagg just laughs at him.

He needs to _understand_ before he can do anything to help.

* * *

"Sure, dude," Nino said. "Switches totally exist, although I hadn't figured you for taking on that role. Did something change with you and Kagami?"

"No, nothing's changed there," Adrien said. "Kagami still keeps telling me that I need more self-esteem before she'll play with me. Is that the right word?"

Nino cracked a smile at him. "She has you there. And yeah, if that's what she uses, then that's the right word. Are you sure she's not just trying to put you off so that the family treasure stays intact?"

"She also keeps telling me I need to stop acting like a model."

"Oh, yeah, that would be a problem," Nino said.

"How so?"

Nino reminded himself that Adrien was still new to the practical aspects of the scene, even if Nino had been just as sure as the rest of their collège and lycée classmates that Marinette and Adrien's on-again, off-again crushes and awkward flirtation was a cover for something deeper that they would be ready to spring on everyone else when they were old enough to make it official. As it was, though, even his small amount of experience was more than Adrien's.

"I feel like"—Nino stopped himself before saying a name that he wasn't sure Adrien already knew was part of the scene—"someone else could explain it better. Not everyone likes stoicism in their bottoms, and you…have a lot of practice at not showing anything other than what the audience wants to see."

"Oh." Adrien seemed disappointed for a moment, before brightening up again. Nino decided it would be unhelpful to point out what Adrien just did was a perfect example of what he was talking about. He couldn't tell if Adrien was cheery and a little disappointed, or disappointed and putting up a front which slipped for a moment. They both knew that Adrien had sharpened his ability to pretend so much because of his need to present to Gabriel the image of a perfect son and model. Thankfully, while they were old enough that Adrien being seen in a club would have no legal consequences, so long as everyone was consenting, it would certainly be tabloid fodder, and that would draw the ire of Gabriel Agreste for damaging his brand sufficiently, if only by proxy. Which was enough of a bad trigger for Adrien that Nino didn't try to push too hard on getting him to have actual genuine emotions in real time, even though he was pretty sure that's what Kagami was waiting for before she was going to trust him enough to play.

"It's more of a communication and safety thing, dude," Nino said. "They don't want you thinking it's too much of an inconvenience to tell them when you're losing feeling in something, or that you've reached your limit and they're not going to get anything more out of you, no matter where you are in a scene."

"Does that happen?"

"All the time. Lots of dudes think they're tough, and there are a few tops who have a reputation of going until someone tells them to stop, which sometimes means those tough guys need the help of the monitors. Who are always keeping a very close eye on those tough guys, 'mysteriously', and show up at exactly the right time to make sure those guys don't get too hurt."

" 'Mysteriously.' "

"Yeah, well, it doesn't occur to some of those tough guys that a responsible person might let the monitors know beforehand if something is going to go on like that."

Adrien laughed. It sounded genuine to Nino, so he was going to take it as a good sign.

"Seriously, dude, I think your best bet is to be open and direct with who you want to play with, and to say what you want to get out of it. Kagami didn't tell you not to play, right?"

"No, she said that she didn't feel comfortable playing with me," Adrien said.

"I'd check with her about this, but it sounds like she's saying, so long as you keep her informed, you can probably pursue this mystery person. Just, y'know, make sure you bring them around so that your friends can make sure they're right for you. You understand that you always have people who will watch out for you, right?"

"Yeah," Adrien replied, looking slightly embarrassed. Nino was pretty sure Adrien didn't really know. Nino had heard the plans between Rose and Alya to ensure any would-be play partner for either Adrien or Marinette would be worthy of them and insist on watching (and possibly commentating, depending on whose expertise was going to be more important at the time) any proposed scene until they were satisfied that it would be safe or they stopped it because they weren't satisfied.

"So, when do we get to meet the mystery partner?" Nino asked.

"I don't even know if they feel the same way about me or not, so introductions are probably premature," Adrien said. "I really just wanted to know if the role you took on at first is something you can't change."

"Nah, dude," Nino said. "It might take people who only see you in one role some time to get used to you in a different one, but you get to change. You always get to change."

* * *

It was always easier when she was upset with him. When they started, he was reliably someone who would make tactical errors because he was trying to show off, or because he didn't take an akuma seriously enough, or because he saw himself as a one-weird-trick cat, or a "fire-and-forget" missile who just needed aiming. She could scold him, he would give her that cat grin, and then something would chirp and they would part ways until the next time Hawkmoth unleashed terror on Paris. It was simpler, easier.

When she had seen the world he created without her, it horrified her. Even when she made allowances for the akuma, it was clear how attached he had already become. She tried even harder to push him away, to keep their relationship strictly professional, to protect their world, to protect him. To protect herself.

The latest fight had come frighteningly close to getting both of them. She'd been wise to get backup from Rena Rouge and Carapace for this one. They had known the risk of being exposed because of Queen Wasp, but both of them had immediately accepted a Miraculous loan again. Rena had said that if Hawkmoth already knew who she was, she'd enjoy putting one boot in his face and the other in his testicles so he would never forget her. And she'd come remarkably close to doing it, as well, as both Miraculous-powered villains had taken the field to support their monsters. It had taken all of them to secure a victory.

Why did they keep trusting her? All she was going to do was get them killed. They only had to lose once and Hawkmoth would have everything he desired. Nobody should be willing to put themselves in danger time and time again for this, but they kept doing it. Did they all have the same misplaced trust that Chat Noir did in her ability to undo things with her Cure?

"Breathe," Chat said softly in her ear. "You're starting to panic again." 

They were on a rooftop. She'd curled into him as tightly as she could, trying to keep everything out, trying to keep everyone else out, but the things she feared the most always came from the inside. He promised her respite, but it was always temporary. They couldn't stay together, they couldn't be together long enough for her to fully come back to something resembling calm. If she did that, she'd have to admit that she needed him as much as he needed her, and if she did _that_ , she'd be signing her own death warrant.

She couldn't allow Chat Blanc to come into being, ever, and the easiest way of achieving that would be to prevent any relationship between them from happening. Yet she clearly needed something of what he was giving. She would have to find it from someone else, instead.

* * *

It was clear to Kagami that Marinette was tremendously nervous. Her form would be entirely too stiff to be able to handle a sword, if Kagami had put one in her hand and told her to fence. Whatever Marinette was here for, it was something that gave her great distress.

"Hello, Kagami," Marinette said, bowing more deeply and formally than their friendship required.

"You have a great weight on your mind, Marinette," Kagami replied. "What can I do to help lift it?"

Marinette squeaked slightly. "It's that obvious, huh?" she said, recovering her full voice. "I don't even really know how to start with this."

"Since you are here, and you are extremely nervous, I would assume this has something to do with Adrien." Kagami said. "He mentioned that you might have some questions for me when we talked yesterday."

"Oh, you talked already?" Marinette said, her posture indicating an even higher stress level to Kagami.

"Adrien did not discuss details with me," Kagami said, deciding a small lie was acceptable in favor of reducing Marinette's anxiety. "He did mention that he was interested in expanding his circle of potential play partners, and from how much he tried not to say your name, I assumed he meant you. Has he talked to you at all about this?" 

The blush on Marinette's face indicated the answer to her question, but Kagami waited for confirmation.

"N-No, he didn't," Marinette said. "I didn't even know he was interested, well, I mean, I knew he was interested in these things in general, because he's with you and apparently everyone but me has already figured out what they want and set things up to their satisfaction, but I, well, I," the blush managed to to intensify, Kagami noted, which seemed impossible before it had happened," I was going to ask you if I could, if you could, if Adrien would want to…with me."

Well, that at least confirmed their mutual interest, Kagami thought. In some other time, Kagami might have thought of this as getting the what-might-have-beens out of both of them. Kagami certainly didn't mind sharing Adrien, especially for any carnal interests he might be able to satisfy with Marinette. Despite knowing it was unwise to talk with Mother about anything, Kagami had asked about what it felt like to court and be courted. Even though she had been able to observe it in others, such thoughts and feelings had never come to her. The ongoing relationship with Adrien had started more like an arrangement to strengthen both of their families, and Kagami was content to leave it in that space. Perhaps there was an expectation that they would come to love each other, or be willing to be together long enough to produce an heir, but the experience of lust had never presented itself to Kagami, only an aesthetic appreciation for the human form and its resilience. Had this been a question simply about sex, this would have been a significantly easier conversation, but this seemed to be a different sort of request than that.

"That is a question for Adrien," Kagami said, deciding to be as direct as possible with her answer.

"I thought I needed your permission," Marinette said, off-balanced by the response.

"You will," Kagami replied, letting a small amount of smile play across her face . "But I have heard and witnessed your legendary inability to successfully talk to Adrien, Marinette. I want to be sure you can inform him of what you need and negotiate to your mutual satisfaction."

The way Marinette's entire being appeared to explode with embarrassment made Kagami sure insisting on this additional component was a good idea for everyone. She had reservations about how successful their attempts would be, based on this display, but that was no reason to forbid them from trying.

"I propose a change of venue," Kagami said. "Perhaps some ice cream to get a fresh start?"

* * *

"If we're going to keep doing this," Ladybug told him, "we have to establish some ground rules."

Today, thankfully, there hadn't been an attack, so it was the perfect time to talk.

"What did you have in mind?" he asked her.

"I…we can't get attached to each other. If I'm going to do this, if we're going to do this, I can't have you declaring your love for me. And, preferably, leave the puns at home."

Normally, he would have objected, saying the puns were part of the package, but the look on her face said she was more serious about it than she usually was when she was trying to curb his instincts to make jokes. He was hopelessly smitten with her, even though he knew she didn't feel the same way towards him, but if he couldn't demonstrate his affection for her, he was going to protect her as best as he could.

"Fine. No love confessions, no puns. But in return, I want you to come to me if you need it. I…the world needs a Ladybug who's taking care of herself. Or at least trying the best she can."

She glared at him, as if she hadn't expected him to negotiate, but instead to simply roll over and show her his belly (like all the times he had in the past), but after a while, she nodded.

"It's still probably some after-effect from an akuma," she said, probably more to convince herself than him. "Still," she said, turning away from him, "I'm glad you didn't take advantage of me. Can I trust you just to provide the comfort when I need it, before it overwhelms me?"

"Of course, my Lady," he told her. "I'm not like Hawkmoth or Mayura. I'm-I'm _scared_ when you're like that, Ladybug. I'm worried that one of these times it's not going to work, and the world needs you. Paris needs you. I need you." Always himself last, even if his own need was the one he felt the greatest.

She frowned. Too honest, he thought. Ladybug was always the one he could be the most honest with, but even with her, some things couldn't be discussed. There were ways of poking at the outsides of those things, testing and seeing whether things that were previously forbidden were safe to talk about, but he let her lead him into that territory, most of the time. It was rare that she was unguarded about anything, but this situation had defeated every attempt she had made to get out under control while he was present, and probably more than a few attempts she had made that he hadn't been present for.

" _Is_ there anything else you want out of this?" he asked.

"What?" she asked, startled at the question.

The situation was unprecedented, but thankfully, there were scripts to help. Snapping out his staff, he projected the screen in front of both of them.

"My browser history is probably never going to live this down, but I thought it would be a good idea to come prepared to a negotiation," he told her. The problem wasn't the lack of resources available, it was finding something that didn't already make assumptions about the relationship they had and that didn't couch the language in terms that assumed they were going to get to that relationship.

"That is a very…comprehensive… list," she said. 

"We'd skip a lot of it," he said, pulling up a second, much shorter set of options. He'd been around her enough to know that some sections simply held no appeal, and that she wouldn't do many of the other ones with him at all. "But, with some digging, I also found one or two that focus less on mechanical things and more on feelings. I think that between them, we can figure out what we want."

She looked at the screen again, an entire saga of thoughts and emotions playing out in his head for each expression on her face as she considered. He didn't want to pressure her, but Ladybug had an entire toolbox of misdirection tricks and disguises to make sure only she knew what she was thinking.

"Okay," she said, curling up into him to get a better look at the screen. "Thank you."

* * *

"Well, I'll be damned," Alya said. "An actual negotiation, and not a stutter or a dropped word between them. _Have_ they been fucking with us all of this time?"

Kagami smiled. "I suspect, were we to inquire, that both of them would say they received excellent coaching on the matter before they came here."

"Sure, but Marinette has practiced in front of me and her mirror plenty of times before, and it always fell apart when confronted with the real deal. What changed?"

"Perhaps," Kagami said, replaying what had happened in her own head, "because they were finally talking about what they wanted from each other, without any expectation of anything past that point, neither of them started worrying about the long-term of their relationship."

"So," Alya said, contemplating things herself, "she really _should_ have tried to have a one-night stand with him."

"That would have been a disaster, as we are both well aware," Kagami replied dryly. 

"Yeah," Alya grumbled. "Still, it feels like this isn't the first time those two have negotiated with each other. I'm proud of my girl, but I expected at least one accidental innuendo that would have embarrassed them both enough to need to take a break from it."

"Adrien did seem more focused than usual, but I assumed that had to do with the potential gravity of the situation than any external influence. I believe he was trying to stave off anxieties about perfection and trying to present himself more authentically to Marinette. I have been trying to help him 'loosen up', as it were, especially when we are together, but it is a process. If I am ever able to do so, I will have very strong words for M. Agreste about his parenting skills."

"Bring your single-tail," Alya muttered darkly.

"I never lash any _one_ in anger," Kagami said without changing her expression.

"He deserves an exception."

"As does my mother, but I am much more interested in making sure my formations have two eyes to match theirs."

Alya looked confused for a moment. "I assume you will be there to support Adrien?" she said, deciding not to press for an explanation.

"I will. Formality nearly demands it, and…I am curious to see the result. I assume you will be there to assist Marinette?"

"I want my girl to have a good first time with the boy she was chasing for years. Assuming this _is_ her first time," Alya added, a scowl coming back to her face at the prospect that Marinette had been hiding something like this from her.

"On other matters," Kagami said politely, "I would like to borrow Nino for a scene. If all goes well with Marinette and Adrien, I will be…energized, and I would appreciate a skilled bottom to help me dissipate that energy."

"I was thinking the same thing about needing some release," Alya said. "I'll talk to Nino and see if he would be interested in us co-topping him."

"I would appreciate that, thank you."

* * *

Thinking of it as practice is what got her in the door. If she could learn how to relate herself in a friendly environment, she could use those skills to help herself in a less friendly one. And that would allow her to return to a proper relationship with Chat Noir.

"How are you feeling?" Alya asked her as they entered the play space.

"Pretty nervous," she replied. It was too obvious to everyone that she was nervous. She would be nervous about doing something wrong while she was there, but there was additional nervous because it was going to be Adrien. And she had decided that she wanted to dress for the occasion. She hoped that Adrien would appreciate it.

"You're really tense, dude," Nino said.

"Remember that you're here with us," Alya said smoothly, "and there's a rule that we get to beat anyone who is mean to you."

Her eyes widened at Alya's jibe. 

"She's kidding. If anyone is mean to you and it's not negotiated, the monitors will take care of it," Nino said, indicating people at the walls of the space who were watching the play happen. "The easiest way to find a monitor is to spot their first aid kit."

"Because someone who's mean to you is going to need that, too," Alya finished. 

The three of them wound their way around the play floor, heading toward the space they wanted to use for the scene later on in the night, stopping at the low fencing that had been deployed around Rose and Juleka.

"Oh, hi!" Rose smiled brightly as they approached the space, waving briefly before tying off another knot. "Juleka, twirl for our guests."

Juleka slowly spun around, showcasing Rose's knotwork. The lines of the ropes criscrossing Juleka's body were impossible to follow, save the single piece of knotted rope holding Juleka's hair back from her face, but she could easily appreciate the way they framed Juleka, while keeping her pretty clearly well tied, if Juleka's slowness and difficulty in turning around was any indication. And the look on Juleka's face suggested that Juleka was enjoying every minute of it. Alya whistled quietly in appreciation.

"Isn't she beautiful?" Rose beamed. Juleka reddened at the attention being paid to her, the blush spreading quickly. 

"Hey, are you in a good spot for a question?" Alya asked. Rose looked at Juleka, who nodded a little bit. Rose didn't move toward Alya, patiently waiting for some signal that everyone experienced seemed to be waiting for as well.

"Yes, I'm green," Juleka finally said, and Rose bounded over to Alya.

"Can I borrow your fence for Marinette tonight?" Alya asked. "I think it'll help both of them, and it'll give us a boundary to work with."

"Sure thing," Rose said. "Let me know when you're planning on starting."

"Hey, M," Nino nudged her as he spoke, drawing her attention from the conversation to where Kagami and Adrien had entered the play space. The flutter in both her heart and mind suggested she was going to need to channel Ladybug and the idea of it being practice for a greater purpose more than she'd thought. His black tee and pants were immaculately tailored, which made it abundantly clear to anyone who looked at him that he was both the model and the fencer together. It was still unfair that he had been given both strength and beauty to work with, but her own work on fashion helped her understand the immense amount of work that he and every other model put into maintaining that effortless appearance.

Still, she really wanted to get a euro coin and see if it would bounce off his ass, based on how tightly those clothes seemed to fit.

"Looks like everyone's here," Alya said, having finished her conversation with Rose. "Let's go say hello."

* * *

Oh, tiny gods and kwamis, Plagg would be laughing his feline ass off at him right now, with how nervous he was about this. He could feel Kagami's eyes on him, just as much as he knew Alya was paying full attention to Marinette. It wasn't helping him any, either, that Marinette had chosen—designed, probably—something that kept everything covered but didn't look like it left a millimeter of tolerance in any direction. It was a smart decision, based on what they had agreed to, but it meant he could see just about every part of her as intimately as if she weren't wearing anything at all. And mostly what it reminded him of was the sole, singular time he'd seen Marinette be truly _angry_ with someone and how quickly they had regretted getting on the bad side of a woman with muscles like those.

Marinette shivered slightly. Whether from nerves or from the cool air, Adrien couldn't tell.

"Are you comfortable?" he asked her, holding the blindfold in front of himself, so she could see it.

She nodded. He took a step toward her, and stopped when he saw Kagami's expression. "Speak," she mouthed. Oh, right.

"Talk to me, please," Adrien said to Marinette. "Want to make sure you're still there."

"Y-yes," she said, unconvincingly. He stayed still. "Yes," she said, more confidently. Kagami smiled and nodded.

"Okay," Adrien said. "What's your safeword?"

"Ladybug," she replied.

"Good. And if we need to talk?"

"Queen Bee." 

"Okay." Adrien cast a quick glance at Alya and Kagami. Kagami nodded and Alya gave him a thumbs-up. "I'm going to put this on you," he continued, showing her the blindfold again, "and then, when you're ready, we'll get started. Good plan?"

"Good plan," Marinette echoed back at him. Getting the blindfold on and adjusted to her didn't take very long, but as he finished, he heard her breath catch and hold in anticipation of what was about to happen.

"Breathe," he said quietly in her ear, one hand on her back to try and calm her. It worked for Chat Noir, it should work for him, right?

He'd _felt_ the change in her immediately, tension in her muscles rippling against his hand. It was unlikely she was feeling chilled any more, he thought as he tried not to show his haste in retreating away from Marinette.

"What happened?" Kagami whispered in his ear as Alya, who had moved forward as swiftly as he had moved back, leaned over to talk to Marinette.

"Don't know. I told her to breathe, because she was holding it in, and the whole mood changed abruptly. This is all going wrong and it's my fault."

"We'll have that discussion in aftercare," Kagami replied. "She did not use her safeword, did she?"

"No?" She hadn't, but he'd been expecting her to, he realized.

"Then your first time is going better than mine," Kagami said.

"And mine," Alya said quietly, joining the conference. "She's good, Adrien," she added, giving him a gentle shove in Marinette's direction.

"Hey," he said, announcing his presence, so as not to startle her. "Are you all right?"

"I've been better," she said.

"Do you want to stop? Are you at Queen Bee? Ladybug?"

"No, Adrien," she said quietly. Was that fear in her voice? Things were getting out of hand if he was scaring her. "I don't want to stop. I don't want to stop at all, but if we get attached like this, then you'll know and he'll exploit it and _I can't lose you_."

He felt like he was losing control of a situation that he only had half of the information he needed to understand. Something had fundamentally changed between them, and he was the cause of it. He did a fast scan to see if there were any purple butterflies or white feathers inbound, but there didn't seem to be any immediate external danger.

Alya and Kagami both shook their heads at him and signed "No." together. Looking down at his own hands, he realized they were exactly where they should be at the end of "butterfly." Well, at least that wasn't a problem in the mix, although it might become one if things didn't improve.

Wait, she'd said "attached." And the way that Marinette was winding herself up into a panic was a lot like what happened when his L— _shit_. If he was right, now he had two problems to deal with, and trying to fix the one might make the other significantly worse. But there wasn't any other way to bring the situation under control quickly.

"Marinette," he said, lightly touching her shoulder to see if she would flinch. When she didn't, he leaned into her and spoke very softly in her ear, summoning all the ability that he'd used and practiced on what he hoped was her superhero side.

"My Lady, _breathe_."

The shaking of her shoulders stopped. The tension remained, all of her body taut, for far longer than it should have if his hunch was right, and then, blessedly, she exhaled. He rested her head on his chest so she could hear his own breathing. His heart was probably beating faster than he wanted it, but getting her back to herself was more important at this point.

"Again. Breathe."

She did, with him this time, which was a good sign. Together, they brought her down to a slower breath. After the last cycle, she sighed heavily and leaned hard into him, like she didn't have any more energy to keep herself upright. Staggered, but thankfully not knocked over by suddenly needing to brace her, he signaled Alya and Kagami for help. After he warned her that he was going to do so, he removed the blindfold, and the three of them guided Marinette to one of the nearby chairs and helped her sit in it.

"Nice work," Alya murmured in his ear after they were sure Marinette wouldn't slide out of the chair. "Kagami and I will be around if you need us."

"Ladybug?" he asked her, after Alya and Kagami had moved out of earshot.

"Ladybug," she agreed.

Well, this was certainly going to complicate everything.


End file.
